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Her eyes rose and she scannedthe elevator. He continued whispering. She found me and looked down atme, holding my gaze like a lioness appraising a gazelle. Her lipsformed the barest hint of a smile.I was lost in a hypnotic reverie, all fragrance and erotic ache. Icould smell him above any of the others, as if my olfactory senseswere starved, waiting to be fed by his male odours. But now I alsocaught a faint whiff of her. I allowed myself to imagine it was herhandsome feet I smelled until I was engulfed in a sweet, intoxicatingdaydream of shameful imagery. Still, she looked down at me and I wasstill unable to break her stare. Her eyes were striking orientalslashes, immaculately painted. I rarely saw her fully, like this, eventhough I had lain at her feet, and sucked her toes, for almost threeyears. I felt a mix of arousal and dread, as if caught in a toxic andinevitable event. Suddenly, all warmth, all security, all love, leftme. I felt only worship and fear and I knew that I would. I didn’t care. I just had hope for some reason. If she had the baby, if I died, everything would equal out. I didn’t know why. Seven days of questioning everything I had ever known was getting to me. That baby was part of me. Camryn was my other half. The baby equals one whole.I didn’t want to live as one half. There was no room for me now. My purpose in this life was over, I created another me, an even better me; a little human like me, but made into perfection from Camryn. I had no reason to live; just floating around in the world by myself. I was a waste of space.No. I had one more thing to do. Camryn’s father wanted to kill it; he wanted to take me completely out of this world. He wanted to kill me; he wanted to kill part of his own daughter. I had to sacrifice myself. Pull the ultimate act of apologizing. I rolled from my bed and crawled to the other side of my room to an old school notebook. I opened it to the last page. I picked up a pen. Dear Mr. HavonI.
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